CURRICULUM VITAE NULLUM DESIDERIUM

Posted on June 4, 2009 - Filed Under The Job Hunter | Leave a Comment

I am always looking for another job a better job a different job a challenging job a well-paid job a new job not just any job.

Therefore I am constantly revising my resume. This resume appears to be a document where I take bits and pieces of things I have done and either embellish or diminish them, depending on what kind of impression I want to make. Then I add things that I have never done but could very well do, and employers I have never had, but they happen to be friends so they will vouch for me. And voila! A resume that fully reflects who I am but confuses the remote-controlled and the pilot-less.

I suppose in this economic crisis I should be conforming and acting like I own a suit and would love to work in a corporate American environment but I am tired of pretending to be something I’m not.  As long as I can afford to I’m gonna put all my focus into getting a form of remuneration that I deserve.

So here’s what I’m thinking:
1.    A daily column in an online magazine, perhaps entitled “The Job Hunter.” I will accept a weekly column in The New Yorker.

2.    A writing job on The Daily Show.

3.    An eBook deal. Something that can easily be read on your iPhone or Blackberry in small spurts on your way to and from work. Does the Kindle matter?

4.    A book deal.

5.   A grant. This grant could be for my filmmaking, which is best described as an avant-garde digital painful performance variable media documentary bonfire of the humanities extravaganza. I usually find myself applying in the category called “Other.”

6.   A Guggenheim Fellowship.

Your thoughts?

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