LATE PEOPLE SUCK

Posted on February 10, 2010 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | Leave a Comment

They have no respect for your time. They are time wasters. I am an accomplisher. My time is very valuable to me. I spent years wasting my time doing drugs and having unpleasant indiscriminate sex. My anger flares when I am left waiting. Being late, holding someone up, is a power play. I will not [...]

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NON SCENTS

Posted on February 10, 2010 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | 1 Comment

The only thing that can be done is to sew up my nose. Literally, that’s what the doctor’s have told me. I had polyps removed from my nose in 1996 that were preventing me from breathing properly and ever since then I can breathe, but now everything that has a scent travels instantly up my [...]

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THE THOUGHT THAT DOESN’T COUNT

Posted on June 11, 2009 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | 4 Comments

THE EMPTY PROMISE If it is not within your power or honest desire to guarantee that a particular thing will happen, please don’t bestow me with your “good intentions.” I am gullible and hopeful and so easily disappointed.

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YOU SHOULD

Posted on June 10, 2009 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | Leave a Comment

I hate it when I hear it. If I want your advice I’ll ask for it. Don’t tell me what to do. You should take another pill. You should eat less carbs. You should ask for more money. You should tell her how you feel. You should keep it to yourself. You should buy yourself [...]

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I SMELL, YOU STINK

Posted on June 6, 2009 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | 4 Comments

I don’t want my shampoo to smell like coconut. And I don’t want my lipstick to taste like watermelon. And I don’t want my poop to be masked with the smell of vanilla. And I don’t want my laundry to smell like fake sickly sweet flowers. The world used to smell natural. Like nothing in [...]

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DRIVE BY HEALTHCARE

Posted on May 9, 2009 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | Comments Off

When I need a doctor, I go on my United Healthcare website and look at all the options and come up with a list of compromises. I start by calling to see if any of these compromises are knowledgeable or open to alternative medicine. Of course the receptionist never knows the answer to that question [...]

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BETE NOIRE

Posted on April 19, 2009 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | Leave a Comment

My neighbors watch Battlestar Gallactica with the volume so high it sounds like someone is rattling a metal garbage can filled with ping pong balls in my bedroom. They also listen to something they call music that has a repetitive drumming head banging bass booming college dorm room kinda feel. Basically they disturb the peace. [...]

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QUICKIE

Posted on February 10, 2009 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | Leave a Comment

The way he casually crossed his legs after sex disturbed me. He was too comfortable for a one-night stand. I wanted him off my bed.

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GENERIC DOPE

Posted on November 28, 2008 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | Leave a Comment

I take a specific prescription drug every single day because it is essential to my survival. For seven  years I’ve been paying $20 monthly for these pharmaseussicals. Suddenly it jumped to $75. I called my health insurance company.

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PERFUME STINKS

Posted on November 17, 2008 - Filed Under This Burns Me Up | Leave a Comment

I was reading some magazine in my doctor’s office and I will quote Ashton Kutcher “If I can smell your perfume and we’re not making out, you’re wearing too much.” I want this message emblazoned across the sky, on every billboard, the leading news story. Everyone and everything stinks! If it’s not perfume or cologne, [...]

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