THE LARRY RIVERS ARCHIVE

Posted on July 9, 2010 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | Leave a Comment

The NY Times published this article about the Larry Rivers archive, which was purchased by NYU for an undisclosed price. It includes films and videos of his two adolescent daughters, naked or topless, being interviewed by their father about their developing breasts. Although my father was not a famous artist, he documented himself watching me [...]

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OBITUARY LIMERICK

Posted on July 8, 2010 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | Leave a Comment

I once had a father named Abe who treated me like a hot babe he lecherously stared while he photographed me bare so my home felt like Abu Ghraib

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FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY

Posted on May 4, 2010 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | Leave a Comment

Best book title ever. I never even needed to crack the binding. That title is the best advice I ever got. I have been thinking a lot about something, but have been afraid to write about it. In public anyway. Here it is.

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REVELATION

Posted on February 10, 2010 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | 1 Comment

Today I considered that maybe my relationship with my archive is akin to my relationship with men. I choose to be intimate with things that hurt me over and over.

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OBITUARY HAIKU

Posted on September 17, 2009 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | Leave a Comment

he does not hear me in my eyes he sees himself I am traumatized

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OBITUARY HAIKU #2

Posted on September 17, 2009 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | Leave a Comment

a kiss on the lips I lock the door to my room is he really dead?

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SAIL ON SAIL ON SAILOR

Posted on June 14, 2009 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | Leave a Comment

I have made a piece of art out of child abuse.  Sorting and resorting and editing the facts that are the source of my fury and my grief. I imagined I was desensitized, but every time I go back, I find new shards. I am not a victim or a survivor. I don’t identify with [...]

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MY BRAIN IS A RIOT

Posted on June 13, 2009 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | Leave a Comment

I strain to get to a word. It is imprisoned by my skull no window through my eyes. My mother had collapsed onto her bad hip and her hand was firmly clutching nothing. A gang of teenagers had broken into the house and raped her while she was holding a dollar bill and then the [...]

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SEEKING ASYLUM

Posted on June 12, 2009 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | Leave a Comment

I don’t know what that’s like. to feel safe. to be embraced with no genital intentions just to feel cared for to feel safe. I don’t know what that’s like.

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CHRISTMAS MEMORIES

Posted on June 11, 2009 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment | 3 Comments

I remember asking for a doll named Tiny Tiny Tears. I liked her because she cried “real tears,” the ad said. Santa told me that if I was very very good, and obeyed my father and my mother, I would get Tiny Tiny Tears next week. I never got Tiny Tiny Tears.

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