Complaint #2
Posted on May 12, 2012 - Filed Under Human Foibles
Facebook. It feels to me like the lower school clique I could never be a part of. When I post and no one notices I feel so left out and unwanted. Its an awful vulnerable place. I can’t be the only person who feels this. Please tell me I’m not alone. The photo is me, alone, with my birthday cake. Please Like me. Really.
I mean, I need you to really like me.
Complaint #1
Posted on May 12, 2012 - Filed Under The Job Hunter
I am surrounded by people with no vision. These people I refer to span from receptionists in doctors offices who automatically say “our next available appointment is (insert date 3 months away)” to working stiffs who are motivated by money. I am not motivated by money. I would like to have enough money to pay my bills every month until I die and if I could shop and travel too that would be great but I don’t need more than that. What motivates me is creative thought and vision and all things artistic and people who are loose enough to allow themselves to see things from a new and different angle. I have a few friends worldwide that are like this but in everyday life especially my current everyday life where I am looking for work to pay my bills something that is more than a day job something where I can be my creative self and be recognized as a creative thinker and have it seen that my creative ideas can be useful and helpful would be what I desire but as is almost always the case my thinking is either ahead of its time or I am surrounded by people with no vision.
OBITUARY LIMERICK
Posted on March 2, 2012 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment
I once had a father named Abe
who treated me like a hot babe
he lecherously stared
while he photographed me bare
so my home felt like Abu Ghraib
OBITUARY HAIKU
Posted on March 1, 2012 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment
he does not hear me in my eyes he sees himself I am traumatized
WRONG IMPRESSION
Posted on February 29, 2012 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment
You might read my writing and think how sad I am
but really I am no sadder than you.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY
Posted on February 27, 2012 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment
I feel I have no love in my life. I know you will tell me about all my friends and how much they love me but it’s not the same as the love of a man. That’s what I want and it is what I have been denied. My hope is fading that it will ever be there for me. The sadness is deafening. I wallow in it and then dredge myself up and then sink back because the comfort of the wet dark mud is what I am used to. You will judge me and I defend myself, saying that you cannot possibly understand because you are not able to feel my worn down soul.
FRAME OF REFERENCE
Posted on February 27, 2012 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment
I write things and they might seem out of context for you, but for me they are always in context because my father’s mistreatment of me as a child will always be there affecting every relationship in my life in inappropriate ways. I hear from many others who watch my film that it brings up STUFF about their own families and childhood but they do not want to talk about it because they say they have dealt with it or something like that but I know the pain is there and will always be there its just that they do not have the courage to feel it. I now understand what people mean when they call me BRAVE. I never got that before.
SAIL ON SAIL ON SAILOR
Posted on July 7, 2010 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment
I have made a piece of art out of child abuse. Sorting and resorting and editing the facts that are the source of my fury and my grief. I imagined I was desensitized, but every time I go back, I find new shards.
I am not a victim or a survivor. I don’t identify with these labels. I am an opponent. The enemy. The more people see my film the more I win. I have turned something hurtful into retribution. My father would be mortified. He would bare my backside and put me over his knees and spank me roughly and mercilessly and then lock me in my room. The spanking must have felt sexual, because now, just a hand mistakenly grazed past my posterior, perhaps on a crowded train, feels violating. Read more
FEEL THE FEAR AND DO IT ANYWAY
Posted on July 4, 2010 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment
Best book title ever. I never even needed to crack the binding. That title is the best advice I ever got.
I have been thinking a lot about something, but have been afraid to write about it. In public anyway. Here it is. Read more
SEEKING ASYLUM
Posted on July 4, 2010 - Filed Under The Marina Experiment
I don’t know what that’s like.
to feel safe.
to be embraced with no genital intentions
just to feel cared for
to feel safe.
I don’t know what that’s like.
keep looking »
Marina in Dreux, France
Director Marina Lutz
Marina and director Eduardo Sosa Soria, Paris 2011
© 2009 Wendy Joy Morrissey
© 2009 Marcia Hyman